These days, it's hard to imagine Portland without thinking of baristas or questionable beard lengths. We look back at the way Portland was before being overrun by cool kids.
Down but not defeated, the ex-NFL star is on to bigger, orange-r things with Nuestra Familia. Word has it that Fernandez has inked a deal with the notorious prison gang, with main bitch earnings as high as three toothbrushes a year.
Of all the emotions one must feel before being executed following what may very well have been a wrongful conviction, peace is the last sentiment you'd expect to surface. But that is exactly the message this man relayed to his audience.
In the illustrious words of the Toast, "There is no place on the social structure for a second-grade boy who thinks rats are 'pointy kitties' and calls his teacher 'Mommy'." Today, we pay homage to that boy, Ralph Wiggum.
Because in post-empire America, you take pleasure in the little things. We have 27--or 54, we guess--little things bound to make you smile.
31 Hilarious Signs That Somehow Got Lost In Translation
42 OKCupid Lines That You Won't Believe Didn't Work
Is It Time For You To Zumba?
